Do you believe you have to get rid of parts of yourself, in order for you to move forward and create the life you want? You don't have to.

Exploring Your Internal World

The therapy journey invites opportunity for you to become more aware of and develop a deeper connection to your inner world. This is where you hold core beliefs about yourself and the world, for example the world is safe/dangerous/generous/unfair/restrictive/hard work etc., to name a few of the common core beliefs people hold.

Your inner world is created from conception onwards and in a nutshell, comprises of all the information your autonomic nervous system has picked up and stored for your brain to make some kind of sense of, hence the formation of core beliefs and ways of being that are more often than not unconscious- it is your nervous system programming. One way to start exploring the landscape of your inner world is through the lens of Internal family systems (IFS)(Richard. C. Schwartz) and 'Parts work.'

A Mini Introduction to IFS Parts Work

Through the lens of IFS we can understand that when there have been experiences from your past where for whatever reason the emotional process needed at the time ended up being compromised and remained incomplete this gets held within your nervous system unconsciously and remains unintegrated.

The 'part' of you that needed to have that emotional experience ends up being split off from your ongoing development, and remains frozen at the time of the experience, meaning it remains at the age and developmental stage of the original experience. In IFS these are called exiled parts and they hold the painful emotions that have been isolated from your conscious Self as a form of protection towards your system and/or the part’s safety.

When you have a part(s) unintegrated in this way, other ‘parts’ may develop as a way to maintain that disconnection between your conscious Self and the exiled part and try to manage and protect your system from re-experiencing the pain that the exiled part carries, in IFS these are called Manager parts and Firefighter parts. ,

It is often these parts that bring out behaviours and ways of being that you may cognitively recognise limit you and are potentially preventing you from creating the life you want, and yet feel powerless to do anything about. Perhaps you have a part of you with addictive behaviours, or a part of you that never follows through on things and appears to give up just as you’re edging closer to what you want. Perhaps you have a part of you that is a people pleaser or a part that is very controlling.

It's natural to believe that the only way available to you to move forward in your life is to get rid of parts of yourself that you judge and are critical off, perhaps even hate. You may also be at a point where there is no separation between your Self and the part(s) which can look like you believing you are a people pleaser/ an addict/a controlling person/a drop out etc., rather than there being a part of you that is managing and protecting against pain through using those behaviours/ways of being.

I invite you to consider the following:

All parts have positive intentions when we invite curiosity. Any behaviour/ way of being you currently have is not the total sum of you, and you do not need to get rid of any part of yourself... we can do this instead 👇

In therapy we can work to create mindful separation so we can work with those parts as parts, and look at their intent, rather than the affect- all parts have positive intention when we can invite curiosity. The process then becomes about updating those parts, rather than getting rid of them and gaining permission to access the wound- the exiled part(s) in need of attending to allow for the integration to happen.

As you are reading this blog, I invite you to notice what part(s) of you come up with their thoughts/ emotions/ any sensations.

🌿 Maybe you sense a critical voice, or a sceptical one, or maybe you've gone blank. These are often younger protector parts of you operating in survival mode. I encourage you to respect what shows up and not to try and push past it.

🌿 If it feels true for you, you can give voice to the part/ its message. For example, a blank foggy part might be saying, " I need you to be distracted from this blog and this therapist's crazy ideas! Give it up, stop reading and get out now."

🌿 Take your time with this. You're establishing a new type of connection, and it can feel unfamiliar. When working 1:1 with you, I guide you in getting to know you internal parts in more depth and in collaboration with the part, finding out what they need from you to allow you to move forward in your life with more ease.

Do you recognise a part(s) of you that may need attending to and support in updating itself, so that it no longer has to work so hard at protecting you? Get in touch for your free 15 min call with me to find out more about working together and how we can combine parts work with integrative somatics and you can find the way forward that works for you.